Now She's a Warrior
by Audball2108
Summary: Dani opens up to Santana about her struggles. Slight trigger warning? Nothing graphic, just mentioned. One-shot.


I came up with this recently...this was inspired by Demi Lovato's story, mixed with parts of Dani's story she told Santana in 5x02.

Song used is "Warrior" by Demi Lovato.

Slight Trigger warning? Maybe?

* * *

"_This is a story that I have never told  
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go  
I need to take back the light inside you stole  
You're a criminal  
And you steal like you're a pro_"

Dani sat on her bad, strumming on her guitar and singing. She was writing a new song and was having some issues.

She played through the notes to the pre-chorus that she came up with, but something just sounded off.

She began singing it, trying to come up with a way to resolve the line before the chorus.

"_All the pain and the truth,  
I wear like a battle wound.  
So ashamed, so confused…  
I was…  
_UGH!"

She immediately stopped playing, and sat her guitar down. She looked on the online rhyming dictionary for some help.

That's when she noticed Santana standing in front of her.

"Dani, what are you singing?" Santana asked, confused.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a song on the radio I heard…." Dani lied, semi-convincingly.

Santana wasn't sure if she should believe the blonde, but she shrugged her shoulders, gave her girlfriend a kiss on the check, and began walking out the door. "I'm going to work, I'll see you in a few hours!"

"Bye babe!" Dani replied, and continued on with her writing.

xXxXx

Just a couple of hours later, Dani had finished the song. She was a complete emotional wreck. The song had taken everything she felt and put it into words, and though she knew she was a stronger person than she use to be, she still felt all of the pain that she did before when she was writing the song. She was drained, physically, emotionally, mentally…and she just crumpled on the floor, letting her emotions take over her.

She stayed like that for a few minutes. She sobbed, feeling everything she didn't want to feel. Was writing that song really therapeutic like her doctor said it would be? Or did it just make things worse? Dani was too distracted to hear the door close, and she didn't notice Santana walk in their room.

"Dani?!" the dark-haired girl panicked, and dropped to her knees beside the sobbing blonde. Santana put her arms around her girlfriend and tried to console her. "Dani, please talk to me? What's wrong, baby? Please tell me, please."

"No, I can't," Dani managed to say in between sobs, "if I tell you, you'll leave me."

Santana's eyes went wide, imagining the worst. But she helped her girlfriend up onto the bed and sat next to her. She took her hand and kissed it. "No, I won't."

Dani looked up, tears streaming down her face. "You promise?"

"Yes," Santana wiped Dani's tears with the back of her fingers. "I promise."

Dani nodded, tears still flowing, and picked up her guitar.

She began to play, filling the room with a solemn, yet powerful tune.

"_This is a story that I have never told  
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go  
I need to take back the light inside you stole  
You're a criminal  
And you steal like you're a pro_

_All the pain and the truth  
I wear like a battle wound  
So ashamed, so confused  
I was broken and bruised._

_Now I'm a warrior  
Now I've got thicker skin  
I'm a warrior  
I'm stronger than I've ever been  
And my armor  
Is made of steel, you can't get in  
I'm a warrior  
And you can never hurt me again."_

Santana's breath became shallow as she listened to her girlfriend sing. They'd only been dating a few weeks, but Santana was still shocked at how little she knew about Dani's past.

Dani continued to sing even though it was becoming tough to keep it together. She looked at her girlfriend's face, noticing her eyes glistening with tears. She closed her eyes and sang on.

"_Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire  
You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar  
I've got shame, I've got scars  
That I will never show  
I'm a survivor  
In more ways than you know_

_Cause all the pain and the truth_  
_I wear like a battle wound_  
_So ashamed, so confused_  
_I'm not broken or bruised_"

That verse was particularly hard to sing. Every time she did, Dani remembered all the times she would sit in her room, broken and bleeding. They were scars now, but the scars hide all the pain she felt and still feels. She wanted to break down again, but she looked at her beautiful girlfriend, whose teary eyes were filled with so much concern, and she continued on.

_'"Cause now I'm a warrior  
Now I've got thicker skin  
I'm a warrior  
I'm stronger than I've ever been  
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in  
I'm a warrior  
And you can never hurt me_

_There's a part of me I can't get back  
A little girl grew up too fast  
All it took was once, I'll never be the same  
Now I'm taking back my life today  
Nothing left that you can say  
Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway_

_Now I'm a warrior  
I've got thicker skin  
I'm a warrior  
I'm stronger than I've ever been  
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in  
I'm a warrior  
And you can never hurt me again_

_No oh, yeah, yeah  
You can never hurt me again"_

After Dani finished, there was a bit of silence. All either could hear were shallow, tear-filled breaths. Dani sat her guitar down and wiped her girlfriend's tears away. Santana put her arms around Dani, who put her head on the brunette's shoulder.

They sat like that for a few minutes.

Santana was the one to break the silence. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on, Dani?"

"I was afraid I'd scare you off. It's not everyday that your girlfriend tells you that she's been struggling with depression and…other things…since she was young."

"Dani, you know I'm always here for you. I care about you so, so much. You can tell me anything." she kissed Dani's forehead and rubbed her back.

"But I'm sure you don't want to hear everything. I'm such a freak."

"That's not true. I want to hear everything. Please, I need to know…I need to know so I know what to do to make you feel better."

Dani prepared herself. She looked at her tattooed wrists, and began feeling the bumps left from her scars. She sighed.

"I first cut myself when I was twelve. The kids in school were awful - they called me fat, ugly, dumb…I spent every lunch by myself in the bathroom, crying. One day, I just…snapped. I began self-harming in almost every way possible. Cutting, burning, starving myself…I remember thinking the world would be a better place without me."

Though her voice quivered, Dani knew she had to continue the story. She needed to vent to the one person she knew she could trust.

"By the time I was fourteen, I had come to terms that I was a lesbian. I hadn't told anyone, but somehow the kids at school found out. They teased me for it and physically bullied me for it. And though I wasn't really ashamed of my sexuality, I was still scared by what people would do if I confirmed it. So I hid it from everyone. Which didn't matter, since I was still a huge target for bullies. They still called me ugly, and fat, and beat me up and told me I was worthless. By the end of my 8th grade year, I began to believe it. I continued mutilating my body, and battling eating disorders. I would eat maybe three meals a week, and most of the time I just ended up purging anyway.  
When I turned seventeen, I was covered, completely covered, in scars. My parents finally began to notice and sent me to a shrink, where it came out that I was a lesbian. Turns out, my shrink's daughter is also a lesbian. She set us up without my parents knowing, and that's when they found us making out in the basement. Then I left home. And since leaving, I've felt a bit better about myself."

Dani showed her the tattoos she had been hiding from her girlfriend.

"I got these not too long after I left home. I thought it would make me stronger, and want to cut less, and it has helped…but I'm still worried. I'm worried I'm not strong enough, Santana. I'm worried I'm not good enough for you. That I'm not pretty enough or skinny enough. I'm afraid that you'll realize that and leave me."

Santana looked at her girlfriend, and cupped her face in her hands. She kissed her, and she could taste the tears that had fallen onto Dani's lips. She broke the kiss, only to kiss each of the blonde's tattooed and scarred wrists. She put their foreheads together and looked straight into Dani's beautiful chocolate-brown eyes.

"Dani. You are, without a doubt, the strongest, most beautiful, most special woman I have ever met. You are worth so much more than what you think. You are worth every word of love. You're worth every good deed, worth every smile, and every tear of joy. You are worth every song. You're worth all of the happiness and the laughter in the world. You are worth everything good and beautiful."

Dani couldn't help but kiss the brunette girl with all the love she could muster. She had never met such an amazing woman as Santana, and she felt so blessed to have her.

"I love you, so much," she blurted, without thinking. Her body went numb as she realized what she had said. Santana's eyes went wide, and she put her hand to her chest. Dani was mortified. "I mean, I…uh…sorry! Sorry! What was I thinking, we've only been dating for a few weeks! I mean…oh man! Oh God, I'm sorry…"

Santana kissed Dani just to shut her up. She again took her girlfriend's hand, and looked her in the eyes.

"I love you too, Dani. More than you'll ever know."

Dani smiled through her tears and snuggled up close to Santana. She knew as long as she had Santana by her side, she would become stronger every day, and maybe someday she won't have to worry about her demons. Because she knew Santana would be there to help her fight them off.

For the first time in 10 years, Dani was genuinely happy.


End file.
